Scientific logic!

Misconstrued Question

The male teacher in a girls school asked the science class: "Who can tell me what organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when simulated? Mary,can you tell me?"

Mary blushed furiously as she stood up.She said "Sir,how dare you ask such a question?I will complain to my parents,who will complain to the principal."

The male teacher was taken aback at first by Mary's reaction.Then as understanding dawned on him,he called for another pupil,this time a volunteer.

Lily put up her hand. "Yes Lily?"

"Sir,the correct answer is the iris of the eye."

"Very good! Thanks Lily",said the male teacher.Then he turned to Mary:"Well Mary,I have three things to tell you.First,you have NOT done your homework.Second,you have a DIRTY mind.And thirdly,i fear one day you are going to be sadly disappointed."

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Better Understanding

Woflgang Pauli:"Do you believe in a personal God?"

Heisenberg: "May I rephrase your question? I myself should prefer the following formulation: Can you,or anyone else,reach the central order of things or events,whose existence seems beyond doubt,as directly as you can reach the soul of another human being? I am using the term 'soul' quite delibrately so as not to be misunderstood.If you put the question like that,I would say yes."

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Emotion in Lotion

A high school physics teacher had a summer job as a beach lifeguard.He noticed that the best tanned babes flirted throughout the summer,though they never found steady boyfriends.He theorized that: A body in lotion tends to stray emotion.

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Crucial Difference

Question: What's the difference between your professor and a terrorist?

Answer: You can always negotiate with a terrorist.

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Drunk Atom

"In principle,I am uncertain about getting charged,
Maybe it's gone off on the great cosmic wave train,
Or eloped with a stray alpha particle,
Maybe I am just losing my attraction?
Maybe I've taken one too many hits from the lab,
Maybe i should decay right here in this bar."

- poem by an inebriated atom

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Famous Five

The famous scientist was asked,whether he could tell what were the five happiest years of his life.

"Of course",the famous man said,"The five years,I studied in the first standard."

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An absent-minded professor

A notoriously absent-minded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter,the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said:"Good evening Sir.How are you?"

"Well",answered the professor,"I thought I was all right when i left home,but now I dont know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half-hour."

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He and I

The great Logician Bertrand Russell once claimed that he could prove anything if given that 1+1=1.

So one day,some smarty-pants asked him,"Ok,prove that you are the Pope."

He thought for a while and proclaimed "I am one. The pope is one. Therefore,the Pope and I are one".

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Einstein's cat




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Unsolved

Enrico Fermi,while studying in college,was bored by his math class.He walked up to the professor and said"My classes are too easy!". The professor looked at him and said,"Well, I am sure you ll find this interesting".

Then the professor copied nine problems from a book on a paper and gave the paper to Fermi. A month later,the professor ran into Fermi,"So how are you doing with the problems I gave you?"

"Oh,they are very hard.I only managed to solve 6 of them."

The professor was visibly shocked,"What! But those are unsolved problems!"

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Science at interview

Question at an interview: "You are given an accurate barometer.How would you use it to determine the height of the skyscraper?"

He answered:"Go to the top floor,tie a long piece of string to the barometer,let it down till it touches the ground,and measure the length of the string."

The examiner wasnt satisfied,so they decided to interview the guy:"Can you give us another method,one which demonstrates your knowledge of physics?"

Answer:"Sure,go the the top floor,drop the barometer,and measure how long before it hits the ground..."

"Not quite what we wanted.Care to try again?"

"Make a pendulum of the barometer,measure its period at the bottom,then measure its period at the top.."

".. another try?....."

"Measure the length of the barometer,then mount it vertically on the ground on a sunny day and measure its shoadow,measure the shadow of the skyscraper..."

"... and again?..."

"Walk up the stairs and use the barometer as a ruler to measure the height of the walls in the stairwells."

"...One more try?...."

"Find where the janitor lives,knock on his door and say,'Please Mr.Janitor,if i give you this nice barometer,well you tell me the height of this building?' "

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